My Little Black Dress

As you may know, at the outset of my triathlon training I set three goals for myself.  The theme for these goals was the number “3” – fitting for a triathlon.  My target goals were (i) to raise $3,333.33 for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society (donate here); (ii) to lose 33 pounds; and (iii) to complete the triathlon in under 3 hours, 33 minutes and 33 seconds. 

Here is an update on my progress: I am just under $500 away from my $3,333.33 goal and I think that if I survive the open water swim (more on that in a future post), I will be able to complete the triathlon in under 3:33:33.  

Now you, as an intelligent individual, probably picked up on the fact that I didn’t mention where I am regarding my weight loss goal of 33 pounds.  Yeah… That goal…

So, it’s not all bad news; I have lost 19 pounds, to date, and I would like to think that I have added some muscle mass, which has mitigated some of my weight loss.  However, clearly I am not where I want to be regarding my weight loss, which leads me to my little black dress.

Before I go any further, I want to be perfectly clear: I DO NOT ACTUALLY OWN A LITTLE BLACK DRESS.  Despite having three degrees from New York University and spending years upon years in Greenwich Village, I have never worn a black dress of any kind (little, big or otherwise); I do not own a black dress; I will not own a black dress; I do not wish I owned one.  The “little black dress” is purely metaphorical in nature.

Now that I cleared that up, as you probably guessed, a “little black dress” represents a specific outfit, be it a wedding dress, a strapless gown, a bikini or an actual little black dress, which is too small on a buyer (usually a woman) when it is purchased.  The buyer (let’s go with “she”) then sets out a diet and exercise regimen and/or goal date when she will be able to fit into that dress/gown/outfit, and look fabulous in it.  You’ve seen this concept in commercials for “Special K” cereal and the like, where a woman looks in the mirror while holding up a dress that is too small for her against her body, as she shifts from side to side, dismayed by the fact that she can’t fit into the fabulous dress.  The shocking and amazing conclusion of the commercial has the previously-forlorn woman glowing as she magically fits into the previously-too-small dress, thanks to said-product-being-advertised.

Well, I have a “little black dress” that comes in the form of a cycling jersey.  If you have never seen or worn a cycling jersey, you should know that they are meant to be form fitting.  Extra jersey or t-shirt material can get caught in the wind, as you bicycle, creating a parachute-effect or “drag”, which means that a loose-fitting shirt or jersey can slows you down by “catching” the air that you move through.  Sure, there are some more forgiving/looser jerseys, but the real, hardcore jerseys have little margin for error (flab) when it comes to squeezing in to them.

I happen to have a size medium, baby blue cycling jersey, which was gifted to me (this is not one of the 11 jerseys that I won on Ebay, discussed in my post from last week).  To give you some background on my couture sizing (I love calling my decade-old, free t-shirts couture), prior to training for this triathlon I inhabited size large t-shirts and even size x-large t-shirts, on occasions (you know, because I have broad shoulders).  Thus, when I started training for this triathlon, I designated my baby blue cycling jersey as my own “little black dress.”  Four months ago, I clawed, crawled and battled my way into the jersey, just to see what it looked like on me, and I practically needed butter and oil to get myself out of it.  Today, well, I can get in and out of the jersey, but there are still a few too many bulges and tight spots to say that I am “in”.  But, I am getting there. 

Fitting into my little black dress is especially important to me because it represents more than just a weight loss number; it represents fitness, muscle tone and overall body shape.  It considers the muscle that I have added in addition to the weight that I have lost.  So on race day, even if I don’t hit that magic 33 pound goal, I will be a happy man, so long as I can really fit into my little black dress.

Just so you know, though, I am going to make up for any weight loss shortfalls on my part by lowering my 3:33:33 tri-time commitment.  Keep in mind, my time and my weight loss are completely under my control, so I take full responsibility for those commitments and impact me, personally.  My fundraising goals impact LLS and people fighting against blood cancers.  This is where you can make an impact.  Please join my blog readers (and those who have donated so that they do NOT have read my blog) who have already donated and ensure that I am able to hit my fundraising goal by donating here: http://pages.teamintraining.org/wch/wchtri11/aspiraq31y.  Thank you for all of your support!